1 Thessalonians 4

"THE WILL OF GOD''

Plea for Purity

 Finally then, brethren, we urge and exhort in the Lord Jesus that you should abound more and more, just as you received from us how you ought to walk and to please God;  for you know what commandments we gave you through the Lord Jesus.

 
For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality;  that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor,   not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God;   that no one should take advantage of and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also forewarned you and testified.   

For God did not call us to uncleanness, but in holiness.   

Therefore he who rejects this does not reject man, but God, who has also given us His Holy Spirit.

"Who hath saved us, and called us with an holy calling."—2 Timothy 1:9.

HE apostle uses the perfect tense and says, "Who hath saved us." Believers in Christ Jesus are saved. They are not looked upon as persons who are in a hopeful state, and may ultimately be saved, but they are already saved. Salvation is not a blessing to be enjoyed upon the dying bed, and to be sung of in a future state above, but a matter to be obtained, received, promised, and enjoyed now. The Christian is perfectly saved in God's purpose; God has ordained him unto salvation, and that purpose is complete. He is saved also as to the price which has been paid for him: "It is finished" was the cry of the Saviour ere He died. The believer is also perfectly saved in His covenant head, for as he fell in Adam, so he lives in Christ. This complete salvation is accompanied by a holy calling. Those whom the Saviour saved upon the cross are in due time effectually called by the power of God the Holy Spirit unto holiness: they leave their sins; they endeavour to be like Christ; they choose holiness, not out of any compulsion, but from the stress of a new nature, which leads them to rejoice in holiness just as naturally as aforetime they delighted in sin. God neither chose them nor called them because they were holy, but He called them that they might be holy, and holiness is the beauty produced by His workmanship in them. The excellencies which we see in a believer are as much the work of God as the atonement itself. Thus is brought out very sweetly the fulness of the grace of God. Salvation must be of grace, because the Lord is the author of it: and what motive but grace could move Him to save the guilty? Salvation must be of grace, because the Lord works in such a manner that our righteousness is for ever excluded. Such is the believer's privilege—a present salvation; such is the evidence that he is called to it—a holy life.

 

 

 

 

1 Thessalonians 3

"BUT TIMOTHY"

 

Encouraged by Timothy

⁶ But now that Timothy has come to us from you, and brought us good news of your faith and love, and that you always have good remembrance of us, greatly desiring to see us, as we also to see you— ⁷ therefore, brethren, in all our affliction and distress we were comforted concerning you by your faith. 

 ⁸ For now we live, if you stand fast in the Lord.

⁹ For what thanks can we render to God for you, for all the joy with which we rejoice for your sake before our God, ¹⁰ night and day praying exceedingly that we may see your face and perfect what is lacking in your faith?

BeyondTheVeilDaily; The true heart of a comforter and encourager in Christ. Is when the  only satisfying reward, can be no less than when those they teach and counsel in the ways of scripture, "stand  fast in the Lord."   For now we live, if you stand fast in the Lord.

"APPOINTED TO AFFLICTION"

1 Thessalonians 3

Therefore, when we could no longer endure it, we thought it good to be left in Athens alone, ² and sent Timothy, our brother and minister of God, and our fellow laborer in the gospel of Christ, to establish you and encourage you concerning your faith, ³ that no one should be shaken by these afflictions; for you yourselves know that we are appointed to this. 

 ⁴ For, in fact, we told you before when we were with you that we would suffer tribulation, just as it happened, and you know. 

⁵ For this reason, when I could no longer endure it, I sent to know your faith, lest by some means the tempter had tempted you, and our labor might be in vain.

BeyondTheVeilDaily; "More than ever the church of Christ needs Timothy's to send to establish and encourage our faith." The message of today avoids, it does an end run around affliction, in which this gospel says is appointed to us. God in His wisdom knows that these afflictions and sufferings will produce warriors of the faith, but today we have brothers who have become misfits. So Paul says; "for these reason, when I could no longer endure it." I sent you Timothy a warrior of the faith, he is my fellow-laborer in the sufferings of Christ and His gospel. "Lord send Timothy's again!" 

In Calm Repose

I will make them to lie down safely. (Hosea 2:18)

Yes, the saints are to have peace. The passage from which this gracious word is taken speaks of peace "with the beasts of the field, and with the fowls of heaven, and with the creeping things of the ground." This is peace with earthly enemies, with mysterious evils, and with little annoyances! Any of these might keep us from lying down, but none of them shall do so. The Lord will quite destroy those things which threaten His people: "I will break the bow and the sword, and the battle out of the earth." Peace will be profound indeed when all the instruments of disquiet are broken to pieces.With this pace will come rest, "So he giveth his beloved sleep." Fully supplied and divinely quieted, believers lie down in calm repose. This rest will be a safe one. It is one thing to lie down but quite another "to lie down safely." We are brought to the land of promise, the house of the Father, the chamber of love, and the bosom of Christ: surely we may now "lie down safely." It is safer for a believer to lie down in peace than to sit up and worry.
"He maketh me to lie down in green pastures," We never rest till the Comforter makes us lie down.

May 24

One a Majority!

One man of you shall chase a thousand: for the Lord your God, he it is that fighteth for you, as he hath promised you. (Joshua 23:10)

Why count heads? One man with God is a majority though there be a thousand on the other side. Sometimes our helpers may be too many for God to work with them, as was the case with Gideon, who could do nothing till he had increased his forces by thinning out their numbers.  But the Lord's hosts are never too few. When God would found a nation, He called Abram alone and blessed him. When He would vanquish proud Pharaoh, He used no armies, but only Moses and Aaron. The "one-man ministry," as certain wise men call it, has been far more used of the Lord than trained bands with their officers. Did all the Israelites together slay so many as Samson alone? Saul and his hosts slew their thousands but David his ten thousands.
The Lord can give the enemy long odds and yet vanquish him. If we have faith, we have God with us, and what are multitudes of men? One shepherd's dog can drive before him a flock of sheep.

If the Lord sent thee, O my brother, His strength will accomplish His divine purpose. Wherefore, rely on the promise, and be very courageous.

"There brake He the arrows of the bow, the shield, and the sword, and the battle."—Psalm 76:3.

UR Redeemer's glorious cry of "It is finished," was the death-knell of all the adversaries of His people, the breaking of "the and the battle." Behold the hero of Golgotha using His cross as an anvil, and His woes as a hammer, dashing to shivers bundle after bundle of our sins, those poisoned "arrows of the bow"; trampling on every indictment, and destroying every accusation. What glorious blows the mighty Breaker gives with a hammer far more ponderous than the fabled weapon of Thor! How the diabolical darts fly to fragments, and the infernal bucklers are broken like potters' vessels! Behold, He draws from its sheath of hellish workmanship the dread sword of Satanic power! He snaps it across His knee, as a man breaks the dry wood of a fagot, and casts it into the fire. Beloved, no sin of a believer can now be an arrow mortally to wound him, no condemnation can now be a sword to kill him, for the punishment of our sin was borne by Christ, a full atonement was made for all our iniquities by our blessed Substitute and Surety. Who now accuseth? Who now condemneth? Christ hath died, yea rather, hath risen again. Jesus has emptied the quivers of hell, has quenched every fiery dart, and broken off the head of every arrow of wrath; the ground is strewn with the splinters and relics of the weapons of hell's warfare, which are only visible to us to remind us of our former danger, and of our great deliverance. Sin hath no more dominion over us. Jesus has made an end of it, and put it away for ever. O thou enemy, destructions are come to a perpetual end. Talk ye of all the wondrous works of the Lord, ye who make mention of His name, keep not silence, neither by day, nor when the sun goeth to his rest. Bless the Lord, O my soul.

 

 

"GENTLE AS A NURSE"

1 Thessalonians 2

 

For our exhortation was not of deceit, nor of uncleanness, nor in guile: ⁴ but as we were allowed of God to be put in trust with the gospel, even so we speak; not as pleasing men, but God, which trieth our hearts. 

 

 ⁵ For neither at any time used we flattering words, as ye know, nor a cloke of covetousness; God is witness: ⁶ nor of men sought we glory, neither of you, nor yet of others, when we might have been burdensome, as the apostles of Christ. ⁷ 

 

But we were gentle among you, even as a nurse cherisheth her children: ⁸ so being affectionately desirous of you, we were willing to have imparted unto you, not the gospel of God only, but also our own souls, because ye were dear unto us.

^{"PROVED COMFORTER TO ME"
Col: 4:12}

Epaphras, who is one of you, a bondservant of Christ, greets you, always laboring fervently for you in prayers, that you may stand perfect and complete in all the will of God.   

For I bear him witness that he has a great zeal

Colossians 4

"OPEN DOOR"

Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving;   meanwhile praying also for us, that God would open to us a door for the word, to speak the mystery of Christ, for which I am also in chains,   that I may make it manifest, as I ought to speak.

Walk in wisdom toward those who are outside, redeeming the time.   Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.

<sup>"HAVE THIS MIND"

Phil 3
15</sup> Therefore let us, as many as are mature, have this mind; and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal even this to you. 
 
Nevertheless, to the degree that we have already attained, let us walk by the same rule,^[ let us be of the same mind.

Our Citizenship in Heaven

 Brethren, join in following my example, and note those who so walk, as you have us for a pattern.  

 For many walk, of whom I have told you often, and now tell you even weeping, that they are the enemies of the cross of Christ:   whose end is destruction, whose god is their belly, and whose glory is in their shame—who set their mind on earthly things.  

 For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ,   who will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed to His glorious body, according to the working by which He is able even to subdue all things to Himself.

 "I KNOW."

Jeremiah 29:11 (KJV)

 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

These words of comfort were originally spoken to the Israelites living in exile in Babylon. God assured them that despite their present difficulties, He had plans for them--plans for them to prosper and be restored. We don't share that historical context, but God's promise remains: He knows of our struggles and is working to help us prosper, even when we can't see it.                             

 

 

 

True Heart-Energy

Meditate upon these things; give thyself wholly to them, that thy profiting may appear to all. (1 Timothy 4:15)

This is, practically, a promise that, by diligent meditation and the giving up of our whole mind to our work for the Lord we shall make a progress which all can see. Not by hasty reading but by deep meditation we profit by the Word of God. Not by doing a great deal of work in a slovenly manner, but by giving our best thought to what we attempt, we shall get real profit. "In all labor there is profit" but not in fuss and hurry without true heart-energy.If we divide ourselves between God and mammon, or Christ and self, we shall make no progress. We must give ourselves wholly to holy things, or else we shall be poor traders in heavenly business, and at our stocktaking no profit will be shown.Am I a minister? Let me be a minister wholly and not spend my energies upon secondary concerns. What have I to do with party politics or vain amusements? Am I a Christian? Let me make my service of Jesus my occupation, my lifework, my one pursuit. We must be in-and-in with Jesus, and then out-and-out for Jesus, or else we shall make neither progress nor profit, and neither the church nor the world will feel the forceful influence which the Lord would have us exercise.

May 14

Surgery for Healing

Come, and let us return unto the Lord: for he hath torn, and he will heal us; he hath smitten, and he will bind us up. (Hosea 6:1)

It is the Lord's way to tear before He heals. This is the honest love of His heart and the sure surgery of His hand. He also bruises before He binds up, or else it would be uncertain work. The law comes before the gospel, the sense of need before the supply of it. Is the reader now under the convincing, crushing hand of the Spirit? Has he received the spirit of bondage again to fear? This is a salutary preliminary to real gospel healing and binding up.Do not despair, dear heart, but come to the Lord with all thy jagged wounds, black bruises, and running sores. He alone can heal, and He delights to do it. It is our Lord's office to bind up the brokenhearted, and He is gloriously at home at it. Let us not linger but at once return unto the Lord from whom we have gone astray. Let us show Him our gaping wounds and beseech him to know His own work and complete it. Will a surgeon make an incision and then leave his patient to bleed to death? Will the Lord pull down our old house and then refuse to build us a better one? Dost Thou ever wantonly increase the misery of poor anxious souls? That be far from Thee, O Lord.

Archippus
 
Having named seven worthy companions, plus Demas, Paul has a greeting and a word for two people in the churches of Colosse and Laodicea. One is Nymphas, about whom we know nothing, apart from the fact that a congregation somewhere met in his house.
The other is Archippus (called a fellow soldier in Philemon). The message for him borders on the blunt: ‘And say to Archippus, Take heed to the ministry which thou hast received in the Lord, that thou fulfil it.’
What has he done, or what is he not doing that he should be doing? It is likely that Archippus served as pastor in the church meeting in the house of Philemon (Philemon 2). Some say he was Philemon’s son, set aside for the ministry of the Word.
What is the matter with him? Is he lacklustre? I believe it is something like this. He is an earnest young man who loves the Lord, and truly wants to serve him, but Paul seems to say, ‘Why don’t you get on with it?’ Perhaps he is not preaching the Gospel as he should be, tirelessly bringing in the lost and teaching the people. Something is distracting him, so we will call him Archippus, the distracted.
You see it today, even in the ministry. I know of a most able pastor who wrote a number of edifying books, and very long ones, while his church fell to pieces. He became distracted, and stopped evangelising. His writing totally engaged his emotional energies. His chosen field may have been good, but it took his time and attention from his primary ministry.
I can think of one or two ministers who have been chairmen of numerous missionary societies and other boards, but as they travelled here and there to chair this and that important meeting, their churches lay at death’s door, with no increase.
These brethren have been sound, but sound asleep. Perhaps they needed the apostle to say to them, ‘Take heed to the ministry which thou hast received in the Lord, that thou fulfil it.’
Our motto should be – First things first. There is much to do; there are souls to win; there are people to build up, and we should be doing those things. I am not speaking about pastors who are distracted by sinful things, and worldly things, but some who have been distracted by secondary activities. Something else, however worthwhile, has interested them and taken their attention from their most important calling.
Only recently a missionary was telling me that there is a tendency in some lands for new missionaries to be planting Bible colleges before they have developed a single credible church, before they have opened a Sunday School. Paul says to Archippus – First things first, and get on with it.
It is not only ministers who may be distracted. Years ago I knew a young man who was conspicuously poor at being involved in any Christian service, but he was busy writing a 500-page book telling other Christians how they should live. The apostle’s word to him would certainly have been – ‘Take heed to your share of the labour commitment to your local church.’
Are we distracted by other things? We hear that some professing Christians spend weeks and weeks planning their holiday travel, rather than serving the Lord, while others devote all their spare time to home or hobby or sport. Perhaps some reader who sincerely loves the Lord errs in the wavering of his direction, and needs this same word – ‘Take heed to the ministry which thou hast received in the Lord, that thou fulfil it.’
We think that this word transformed Archippus the distracted, and galvanised him for years to come.
Most of the companions of Paul were marvellously committed people and we can learn so much from them. Think of Tychicus with his true servant spirit. O, to be like him – all for Christ and entirely at his disposal. Then think of Onesimus, a trophy of grace; a completely changed young man. May our own transformation at conversion last, and our graces grow and flourish.
Think of Aristarchus – so sacrificial. Today we are not called upon to become voluntary prisoners. All our sacrifices are so much easier to make, and we should make them gladly. Think of Mark, the conqueror, who overcame his weaknesses by the power of the Lord. There is hope for us, for we can all make progress for Christ.
Think of Justus the evangelist who so encouraged Paul. What do we do, by way of individual or corporate witness, for Christ? Think of Epaphras the interceder. Would British churches be declining if we were more like him?
And what of Luke, Paul’s armour bearer, who, for all his outstanding education and abilities, willingly took a supportive role, and received the privilege of human authorship of Luke and Acts? How we need his humility and vision for teamwork!
Only Demas the unstable disappoints, his experience calling us to self-examination. And lastly Archippus the distracted, who needed firm direction to order his priorities aright.
Paul’s epistles are all so pastoral that even the greetings are a blessing to us, if we heed them.

Demas

A sadder note is struck in the case of the next named companion (verse 14), because we have to sorrow later at the defection of Demas. What about Demas, Paul? Can’t you say something special about him? But Paul attaches no sure commendation to this man. In fairness, he is called a fellow soldier elsewhere, but from this passage you begin to wonder whether Paul senses that Demas is not fully stable, and could suffer a fall, for this is what happened.
Between five and seven years later Paul writes to Timothy – ‘Demas hath forsaken me, having loved this present world, and is departed unto Thessalonica’ (2 Timothy 4.10).
We have not counted Demas among the seven who serve as examples to us, and the distinctive term we ascribe to him is – Demas the unstable.
Why did Demas forsake his calling? Was he a false convert? There is no mention of this, and the discernment of Paul would surely have discovered this long before. Earlier he had been a worthy companion of Paul, carrying out good work. He undoubtedly loved Christ, but there was something deficient in his spiritual walk, and the world clawed him back into its attractions.
He was probably a very able man who realised he could earn much money and possess a beautiful house in wonderful surroundings by taking up once again the goals and opportunities of Thessalonian commerce.
It could happen to any of us if we underestimate the power and the hostility of Satan, who watches continuously to see opportunities to turn us back to the world. If we begin to indulge covetous desires, personal conceits, or dubious entertainments, Satan will stir our minds to desire these things increasingly, and eventually turn us away from our first love.

Let us cast ourselves upon the Lord asking for protection, and recommit ourselves entirely to him.

Demas was snatched out of service by the enemy of souls when he came to desire worldly luxury and acclaim more than he desired Christ. If he was a true believer he would surely have been restored in time by merciful divine discipline, but he forfeited his privileged work.
If we find ourselves thinking too much about worldly things, overloving earthly possessions or activities, or aspiring to self-satisfaction, we must be cautioned by Demas, the companion of Paul. Even the godly may swiftly fall. Let us cast ourselves upon the Lord asking for protection, and re-commit ourselves entirely to him. May the case of Demas, the unstable, warn our hearts.

Luke

The seventh companion to be named is Luke, and so much could be said of this remarkable man, but we shall use an Old Testament term and call him the apostle Paul’s armour bearer, because that is what he was. So often he was there, treating the apostle’s very serious health problem. We don’t know exactly what Paul’s chief illness was, but we know it was extremely painful, unsightly, and a handicap to him. However, Luke, the beloved physician, was often there. He was also a preacher.
A Gentile from Antioch of Syria, he was almost certainly a bachelor, and some very early references to him in tradition suggest he was also an able artist. There is an interesting theory, but it cannot be proved, that Luke went to university with Saul of Tarsus in that city, and some say that Apollos was also there, but not necessarily at the same time. Paul and Luke were close friends and it is possible that their friendship had roots in a similar place of education.
Rather daringly, some say he was not only a doctor, but had also been a ship’s doctor, or physician to a fleet. Certainly Acts 27 demonstrates a remarkable command of correct nautical terms and maritime information.
Tradition says that Luke lived a very long life, but he still lives today through the Gospel of Luke and the Acts of the Apostles, and the record shows that he was always ready to preach, serve, look after the apostle and, of course, to be an inspired penman of holy Scripture.
Nothing can be said too highly of Luke. Although obviously a clever man and well-educated (as we see in his use of Greek), he was pledged to serve the apostolic mission in every necessary way. As ‘armour bearer’ to Paul he was pre-eminently a team person, and this is the challenge his life presents to us.
We are all in a team as members of a church. Ideally, every capacity and ability is pledged to the Lord’s service, with no one trying to stand head and shoulders above anyone else for self-notice. You can see how this was true of all the companions of Paul, but you see it particularly well in the long service of Luke.

Eparhras

After Justus the better-known name of Epaphras appears – ‘Epaphras, who is one of you [a Colossian], a servant of Christ’ (verse 12). What was distinctive about Epaphras? There is something that was probably true of the others also, but it particularly distinguishes this brother – he is an interceder. Paul says he was ‘always labouring fervently for you in prayers’.
Epaphras had probably been converted through Paul’s ministry in Ephesus, following which he returned to Colosse and evangelised the city. Not only that city, but he apparently founded churches in Laodicea and Hierapolis too. Now he is willing to share Paul’s room, being treated as a prisoner like Aristarchus. So he prays alongside Paul.
The apostle provides us with detail about the contents of the prayers of Epaphras, who laboured fervently for the Colossians, and others, that they would – ‘stand perfect and complete in all the will of God’. ‘Labouring fervently’ is very strong in the original, the English word ‘agonising’ coming directly from the Greek term.
Epaphras feels for the people, clearly praying for individuals and their situations, that they will progress in sanctification, knowledge and service for Christ, for all these are ‘the will of God’. This also includes their preservation in purity (that they will not surrender to the threatening Colossian heresy) and that glory may be brought to Christ through the salvation of souls.
The prayers of Epaphras are not fitful or listless, nor just occasional and half-hearted, they are wrestling pleadings for the people. He asks that they may become mature and complete in the will of God, which means – God’s will as expressed in his Word. In other words, he prays that they will have a clear grasp of doctrine.
He prays for them, no doubt by name, for he knows them, and he asks that they will obey spiritual duties day by day, and never be turned aside. That is the agenda for the prayers of Epaphras. Is it so with us?
Paul makes a kind of oath to attest the quality of the praying of Epaphras, saying – ‘I bear him record…’ He prayed as he did for three -churches, constantly. If only we would be interceders of this quality there would possibly be many more churches like those three congregations throughout our land. Epaphras saluted them, and we salute him – the interceder!

Jesus Justus
 
Another of Paul’s helpers was ‘Jesus [Joshua], which is called Justus’, who like Mark and Aristarchus was a Jew. Says Paul – ‘These only are my fellowworkers unto the kingdom of God, which have been a comfort unto me.’ This does not mean that these three were his only fellow workers, but that they were the only Jews among his fellow evangelists.
We say fellow evangelists, because that is what the phrase ‘unto the kingdom of God’ indicates. They were fellow builders of the kingdom by the winning of souls. How interesting this is – that in a predominantly Gentile church there were these three conspicuous Jewish evangelists. The description fits all three, but as we know so little about Joshua Justus, not being mentioned anywhere else in the New Testament, we shall give him the epithet of evangelist. He is a fellow labourer unto or for the kingdom of God, bringing in the harvest of souls.
It is moving to hear Paul say that the three Jews had been a comfort, or a great encouragement, to him. We may say: ‘Dear Paul, you are detained in chains, suffering great discomfort through painful ailments, and cut off from your widespread ministry, and the matter that cheers you more than anything else is to hear of the work of evangelists.’ If only we would all be so spiritually minded, and so in tune with the heart of Christ!
Here is a challenge for all of us. When we were first saved we witnessed a great deal. Do we still? We took every opportunity to pray for those to whom we spoke, and we were eager to join in other outreach activities also. Are we still? Would Paul be able to say of us, ‘He is a fellowworker unto the kingdom of God, and has been a comfort [encouragement] to me’?

Marcus

Another well-known helper of Paul at this time was ‘Marcus, sister’s son to Barnabas’, better known to us as John Mark (verse 10). What descriptive word may be assigned to John Mark? Undoubtedly that of conqueror. Approximately 12 to 14 years previously he had been given the great privilege of serving with Paul and Barnabas to travel, preach, and commence churches. However, in Pamphylia he deserted that missionary journey and went back to his home in Jerusalem.
Why did he go? Many think he was scared in Pamphylia, being somewhat soft and unreliable. He recoiled from the threat of persecution and ill treatment. Although possessing the physical strength and energy of youth, he had not yet developed courage and persistence. His desertion was so serious that Paul would not have him back on his next missionary journey, giving great offence to Barnabas, so that Barnabas took Mark and went his own way.
In time, however, Mark conquered his weaknesses to become a leading servant of Christ, no doubt owing much to Paul’s firm stand. After a dozen or more years we see his remarkable transformation. He applied himself, overcoming his lack of persistence. We see him now as an overcomer; a conqueror. He has obviously long repented of early failure and laid his weaknesses and his vulnerabilities before the Lord, who has given him character and strength to persevere. From that time he has gone forward, being instrumental in the writing of the Gospel that bears his name, which is really the Gospel of Peter, for whom he acted as scribe.
Surely we must ask: what about us? Does the earlier John Mark describe us? Do we make five-minute commitments to the Lord – undertakings that quickly die out? Do we flit from one activity to another beginning with enthusiasm, but proving unstable and unreliable?

Stretch for greater maturity and steadfastness, and the Spirit will enable you to conquer and master yourself...

Do we have a record of numerous unkept promises to God? The self-conquering example of Mark tells us we can master our tendencies by the power of Christ.
If you are a young person, moved by God to serve him with zeal, but you find yourself easily distracted and diverted, don’t incur a catastrophe like Mark before you see the need to appeal to the Lord to strengthen and settle you. Stretch for greater maturity and steadfastness, and the Spirit will enable you to conquer and master yourself, so that you become consistent and reliable.
It is a great encouragement to us to see Mark in the list of Paul’s beloved helpers. We may all become conquerors for the service of Christ.

Aristarchus

Paul’s third named companion is to remain in Rome, but sends his greetings: ‘Aristarchus…saluteth you’ (the word in the Greek means ‘embraces’ you). He sends his fondest greetings.
Aristarchus was a Macedonian from Thessalonica, and we must ‘label’ him as sacrificial. He seems to be included as the first of three Jewish helpers. Once violently seized along with Paul (and Gaius) at Ephesus, he travelled with the apostle during the third missionary journey, and joined with him as a prisoner on ‘the perilous voyage’, ending in shipwreck. Aristarchus is a very notable companion of Paul.
Here, he is called ‘my fellowprisoner’, which is both interesting and slightly confusing. He was arrested with Paul at Ephesus but that arrest did not last. Then he would have been treated as a prisoner no doubt (though not personally under arrest) on the perilous voyage. But Paul clearly means that he is a prisoner with him in Rome, and this is the point of confusion.
In the letter to Philemon, Epaphras is called a fellow prisoner, and Aristarchus is not. Here in Colossians, Aristarchus is named as a fellow prisoner and Epaphras is not. As Colossians and Philemon went out at the same time, the mystery deepens.
The most probable solution is that Aristarchus and Epaphras alternated in tours of duty as voluntary fellow prisoners. In turn, they were willing to be bound like Paul in his room and be treated in exactly the same way. To stay with Paul in the hired house of his first Roman imprisonment did not allow complete freedom, because the companion could possibly have overpowered the guarding soldier and released the prisoner. To share the apostle’s ministry of prayer and writing, for the sake of security, you would wear the same shackles and be treated as a prisoner of imperial Rome. Aristarchus, it appears, was one of those who was prepared to share Paul’s sufferings.
The word translated ‘prisoner’ means a prisoner of war. Paul seems to be reminding us that he and Aristarchus were not in prison as criminals, but as captives in the world’s war against Christ and the Gospel. A prisoner of war possesses a special honour in the eyes of his own nation, and Aristarchus, with Paul, may wear this title of distinction as a contender in the great battle for souls. He deserves the epithet – sacrificial.
Is there anything of Aristarchus in us? Do we say, ‘My career is for Christ, not for me, and if I cannot rise to the top without forfeiting my service for him, I won’t attempt to do it’? Certainly some believers are enabled by the Lord to get to the top and still serve him, the Lord opening up great opportunities of witness to them. But that is for the Lord to bring about. The rule for us is to be willing to accept a modest station in life, if necessary, to be chiefly for Christ.

Onesimus

The next name to be mentioned is that of – ‘Onesimus, a faithful and beloved brother, who is one of you.’ Most readers will know about Onesimus, whose distinctive description must be a trophy of grace. A slave of Philemon, a wealthy man of Colosse converted through the preaching of Paul, Onesimus had stolen money and absconded to Rome. In due course he had somehow come in touch with Christians, and Paul, and had found the Lord, and then been totally changed. Now he will be returned to Philemon and to the church at Colosse, no longer a thief and a runaway, but as a servant of God. He is now a ‘faithful and beloved brother’, a mature believer, who may be entirely trusted.

Have we truly repented of sin, sought the Lord, trusted in the
work of Christ on Calvary?

Are we trophies of grace? Have we really been changed? There are some people who say they have come to the Lord, but you could not emphatically say they are trophies of grace, because they are not much different from how they were before. They do not seem to have a new spirit and a new heart, being entirely for the Lord and his worship and work. They are still feathering their nests in this world and getting their pleasures from earthly things.
Onesimus could be sent back as a totally transformed young man, and that is what we long for in every worshipper. Have we truly repented of sin, sought the Lord, trusted in the work of Christ on Calvary, come to him as Saviour, and sincerely yielded our lives to him? Only if this is so will we be seen to be trophies of grace, with new motives and desires in life. May all readers be of the spiritual lineage of Onesimus – a trophy of grace!

Companions of the Apostle Paul

From The Sword & Trowel

   

Having a servant spirit is vital in the Christian life. What is it to be someone described as a ‘beloved brother'? Here we meet some of the Apostle Paul's closets companions and consider our ministry of compassion and service towards others.

Towards the end of Paul’s remarkable letter to the Colossians, written during his first imprisonment in Rome, he names seven men who assisted him at that time, men whose lives continue to challenge and encourage us today.
 
These were not the only fellow workers of Paul, for such significant pastors as Timothy and Titus are not referred to, but the ‘Roman seven’ have much to teach us, and in this article we shall assign to each one a different term to capture his distinctive feature.

Tychicus

The first two to be named are travelling as bearers of the letter, Tychicus being the senior of them. Paul writes: ‘All my state shall Tychicus declare unto you (Colossians 4.7).’ What distinguishing term can we give to this native of Ephesus, a long-time travelling companion with the apostle, who engaged in preaching, evangelism and many other duties besides? The most fitting, surely, is – a servant.
Tychicus had accompanied Paul as a representative of the Gentile churches when he took a great offering of relief to Jerusalem, going at least as far as Miletus with him. He was a courier for the letter to the Ephesians, and possibly carried 2 Corinthians (accompanied by Titus). He was sent by Paul to Crete to minister alongside Titus, and also to Ephesus, probably to succeed Timothy.
Tychicus was one of that early band of preachers who had risked their lives with Paul on his third missionary journey, and now he has been sent by him to Colosse carrying out the captive apostle’s instructions.
Just look at the way Tychicus is described by Paul. He is (verse 7) ‘a beloved brother’, or one for whom Paul had very great affection. His character, lifestyle and love for Christ, drew out the strong affection of Paul.
He also manifested a tremendous concern for Paul’s work and health, being sensitive to his needs and meeting them as far as he could.
To be someone described as a ‘beloved brother’ indicated a person of unselfish friendship and kindness, and it would appear from his record that nothing was too much for Tychicus. A servant spirit was the keynote of his life.

For all his strengths and capacities, he was not an individualist running after his own reputation and glory

The apostle goes on to call him ‘a faithful minister’, because he cared for people. He was a preacher, certainly, but also a personal encourager and exhorter, exercising a great ministry of comfort and challenge. He had believers on his heart.
Being ‘faithful’ also means that he was loyal to the Word, the ideal man, therefore, to send to Colosse at a time when heretics were knocking at the door. He taught the Truth accurately and plainly, as one utterly bound to his high commission.
Then, as if these terms of commendation were not enough, Paul calls Tychicus a ‘fellowservant in the Lord’, a term rich with meaning. First, it describes him as a colleague; a team member. Tychicus, for all his strengths and capacities, was not an individualist running after his own reputation and glory. He was happy to assist the apostle and to work unobtrusively with others.
He gave himself to the ministry as a diligent servant, or slave (in the Greek). A slave was owned by his master, and served his demands and comforts every hour of the day. This was the spirit of Tychicus as a servant of Christ. He would do anything that was required of him.
Paul does not speak of him as a personal servant, but as a ‘fellowservant in the Lord’. He would do anything for the sake of the ministry.
Tychicus will visit Colosse, says Paul, to ‘know your estate,’ or circumstances and to ‘comfort your hearts’, or rather, to encourage you. He will relate to your trials, share your opportunities, and do all he can to help. He will, of course, preach about Christ, lifting him up, teaching wonderful things, and encouraging you in the mission.
Inevitably, he will speak of eternal glory. If your circumstances are hard, he will point your minds to that great, forthcoming, eternal glory. There was no better person for such a task than Tychicus, transparently at the disposal of the Lord, faithful to the Word, and faithful to believers. But his characteristics should be true of all of us, for this is the objective of God’s work in our hearts.
Are we servants, fully at Christ’s disposal, or do we run off after earthly interests? Tychicus, one of the close companions of Paul, is a pattern of unselfish love for Christ which should be the great goal of all our lives.
Of course, it must be said that Paul would have unconsciously attracted to his band of close fellow workers people like himself, who were inspired by his life. If those of us who are ministers were more like Paul, then we would naturally gather likeminded believers in our churches.

"QUIETLY WAIT!"

 

Habakkuk 3:17

  Even though the fig trees have no fruit
 and no grapes grow on the vines,
even though the olive crop fails
    
and the fields produce no grain,
even though the sheep all die
and the cattle stalls are empty,
 
I will still be joyful and glad,
 because the Lord God is my savior.
 
The Sovereign Lord gives me strength.
    He makes me sure-footed as a deer
    and keeps me safe on the mountains.

Principles to be Applied
 

Then there are principles that we must apply, such as the Lord’s words in John 4.23, ‘true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth,’ meaning that in the new church age there would be no symbolism in worship (apart from the Lord’s own ordinances of baptism and the Lord’s Supper). Accordingly, there should be no images, no physical or ceremonial actions (not even hand-raising), no flamboyant music (only simple accompaniment), but spiritual words said or sung from the heart.
   
Another principle from the Saviour is his washing of feet at the Lord’s Supper, not apparently literally copied by the apostles (as part of the Lord’s Supper) but followed in principle. The meaning is that elders are servants, not lords to be splendidly robed and honoured in processions, and given superior seats in the house of God. Nor should pastors be rich and covered with earthly goods like charismatic mega-church pastors. Said Christ: ‘The servant is not greater than his lord.’

Examples and Precedents to Follow

   Another way the Bible conveys pattern church instruction is by example or precedent, and there are many illustrations of ongoing church life in the New Testament. These are binding or prescriptive, unless the Bible shows they were temporary, or unless it is very obvious that the act may equally well be carried out in an equivalent way, such as a warm handshake in place of a holy kiss.
   
This brief article is not a practical treatment of the pattern for the church, but a call for its renewed recognition and authority. The writer remembers how, as a seventeen-year-old new believer, he was taught the pattern texts in church membership class well over fifty years ago. They were standard fare in those days (and for centuries), whereas today even seminary students have often never heard of them.
   
Matters have become more serious with the arrival of seeker-sensitive churches, consumer churches, and now emergent churches and missional churches. None of these want the sufficiency of Scripture to get in the way of their ideas and innovations. All of them want the world and the church to become intertwined contrary to the Lord’s will.
   
It is immensely encouraging lately to hear questions being asked about today’s rampant fire of innovation. To give just one small example, people are asking where music ministers or directors of music are to be found in the New Testament. Christian instincts seem to be emerging again, and we must encourage and reinforce them with the abiding instructions of the all-sufficient Word of God.
 

This article about the sufficiency of Scripture presents Bible texts showing that the apostles established a pattern, standard or model for the church of all ages.

"Acquaint now thyself with Him."—Job 22:21.

F we would rightly "acquaint ourselves with God, and be at peace," we must know Him as He has revealed Himself, not only in the unity of His essence and subsistence, but also in the plurality of His persons. God said, "Let us make man in our own image"—let not man be content until he knows something of the "us" from whom his being was derived. Endeavour to know the Father; bury your head in His bosom in deep repentance, and confess that you are not worthy to be called His son; receive the kiss of His love; let the ring which is the token of His eternal faithfulness be on your finger; sit at His table and let your heart make merry in His grace. Then press forward and seek to know much of the Son of God who is the brightness of His Father's glory, and yet in unspeakable condescension of grace became man for our sakes; know Him in the singular complexity of His nature: eternal God, and yet suffering, finite man; follow Him as He walks the waters with the tread of deity, and as He sits upon the well in the weariness of humanity. Be not satisfied unless you know much of Jesus Christ as your Friend, your Brother, your Husband, your all. Forget not the Holy Spirit; endeavour to obtain a clear view of His nature and character, His attributes, and His works. Behold that Spirit of the Lord, who first of all moved upon chaos, and brought forth order; who now visits the chaos of your soul, and creates the order of holiness. Behold Him as the Lord and giver of spiritual life, the Illuminator, the Instructor, the Comforter, and the Sanctifier. Behold Him as, like holy unction, He descends upon the head of Jesus, and then afterwards rests upon you who are as the skirts of His garments. Such an intelligent, scriptural, and experimental belief in the Trinity in Unity is yours if you truly know God; and such knowledge brings peace indeed.

Denials of the Pattern Church Today
 
The so-called emerging church movement sets aside the pattern of the New Testament, and so do other groups that do not like to be called ‘emergent’, but ‘missional’. They are practically the same. They believe that churches must adapt to the needs of rebellious modern culture, going even further toward the world than the seeker-sensitive church model of recent years. But there is divine wisdom and authority in the biblical pattern, and it is all-sufficient for all times.

Direct Commands for the Church

   Church instructions are presented in the Bible in several ways. There are numerous direct commands telling us how things should be done, such as the many instructions in the pastoral epistles.
    1 Corinthians 16.1-2 is an example of one church practice to be followed. ‘Now concerning the collection for the saints, as I have given order to the churches of Galatia, even so do ye. Upon the first day of the week…’ This is an apostolic command that went to all the churches to be complied with. They clearly worshipped in a special way on the Lord’s Day, and gathered their offerings.
      Another example of a direct command is in Titus 1.5. Here Paul is seen exercising his inspired authority to establish a blueprint for churches, saying to Titus:–   ‘For this cause left I thee in Crete, that thou shouldest set in order the things that are wanting, and ordain elders in every city, as I had appointed thee.’
       The system of government by consent is also an example of the New Testament model being expressed by direct commands. (This is quietly avoided by Anglicans, and by many charismatics.)

5. Instructions for the ‘Man of God’


The well-known words of 2 Timothy 3.16-17 also affirm the principle of the sufficiency of the Word for the conduct of the church.
   ‘All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: that the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.’

The Word has provided an all-sifficient scheme and model for the work of ministry...

   We should note that the ‘man of God’ is particularly mentioned. Although the words equally apply to all believers, the fact that they are applied to a pastor, and refer to all his good works, shows that the running of the church is included. Timothy is perfectly equipped from God’s Word for all his church-planting and pastoral service to God. The Word has provided an all-sufficient scheme and model for the work of the ministry, and must be honoured and implemented.    Timothy had previously been told (1 Timothy 3.15) how to conduct himself in the house of God. This obviously referred to the organisation of the church, because the entire passage is about the appointment of elders and deacons. Timothy must not think of redesigning the plan he has been given, and nor should we. It is divine genius, perfect, wholly efficient and most glorifying to God.

4. An Observable Example Given


In Philippians 4.9, Paul speaks again of the special authority of his acts, and how they constituted a norm. He writes:–
   ‘Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.’
   These words follow the six ‘whatsoever things’ that should occupy the thoughts and objectives of believers in their lifestyle and service for the Lord. All that they saw Paul do was to be reproduced to secure Gospel instrumentality, the apostle referring to the ‘God of peace’, or the God who reconciles sinners to himself.
   
Paul, of course, was not sinless and free from mistakes. He was not divine. But clearly the Holy Spirit has preserved in the record of Scripture only the acts and prescriptions of the apostle that provide a perfect pattern for us. We are not at liberty, for ­example, to loftily debate whether Paul or Barnabas was right in the disagreement over John Mark. Paul is the one who is to be imitated by us, and we should learn from his judgement in the matter.

3. A Die or Template Provided

The third text about Paul providing a pattern is Philippians 3.17:– ‘Brethren, be followers [co-­imitators] together of me, and mark them which walk so as ye have us for an ensample.’
The word ensample is much stronger than the word example (which some of the modern translations have). It refers to a die or stamp which embosses itself upon a mould from which an exact copy will be made. In other words, the methods of the apostle Paul and his way of doing things were so specific that they resembled a die from which tools were made.
   The NASB interestingly renders the verse: ‘Brethren, join in following my example, and observe those who walk according to the pattern you have in us.’
   Paul’s organising and operating of a church is an accurate plan to be followed by God’s people in every age.

2. Practices Delivered by Paul

We look on to 1 Corinthians 11.1-2 where the same word is used:–
  
‘Be ye followers [mimics, imitators] of me, even as I also am of Christ. Now I praise you, brethren, that ye remember me in all things, and keep the ordinances, as I delivered them to you.’
  
The ‘ordinances’ means (in the Greek) things handed down to us, or delivered to us – traditions. This word refers here to rather more than the two ordinances of Christ, baptism and the Lord’s Supper. Once again, there is a scriptural pattern church that should direct our steps.

"Confessions Uphold the Pattern"
  

We have heard it said that the Westminster and Baptist Confessions of Faith veer away from the concept of a pattern church, because they say (1.6) – ‘there are some circumstances concerning the worship of God, and the government of the church, common to human actions and societies, which are to be ordered by the light of nature and Christian prudence, according to the general rules of the Word…’
   Both Confessions, however, go on in later chapters to uphold New Testament directions about worship, the Sabbath, church structure, membership, officers, with their qualifications and appointment, the centrality of preaching, church discipline, and the ordinances.
   Also, it is obvious from the known teaching and practice of the pastors and churches at the time of these Confessions that they firmly believed that the New Testament laid down the general rules for church life, and that these were crucial. The matters that were to be regulated by the accepted practice of society and common sense were practical matters such as how we are to account for money or implement voting.
   A recent evangelical systematic theology defines the sufficiency of Scripture in a most inadequate and anaemic way thus, ‘Scripture…contains all the words of God we need for salvation, for trusting him perfectly, and for obeying him perfectly.’ It is, of course, a non-definition, omitting any workable guidance on the scope of Scripture’s authority, and avoiding all reference to the ordering of the church. Such a definition comfortably accommodates the modern drift from practical commitment to the Bible.

1. A Representative Church Provided

Here is the first of a series of famous and pivotal commands given through the apostle Paul, saying, in effect, that his policy for church order and practice is an inspired pattern to be implemented:–
  
‘Wherefore I beseech you, be ye followers [imitators] of me’ (1 Corinthians 4.16).
  
  Just in case we should think that the apostle is only asking that we copy his godly behaviour, he proceeds to say (verse 17):
   ‘For this cause have I sent unto you Timotheus, who is my beloved son, and faithful in the Lord, who shall bring you into remembrance of my ways which be in Christ, as I teach every where in every church.’
  
Paul’s example in Acts, and the directives in his epistles, show how we should go about things, the way we should behave, our methods, our worship, manner of government, appointment of office bearers, and every other significant matter. Writing under inspiration, the apostle sets himself forward as the one to be imitated in church matters. Our English word ‘mimic’ comes straight from the Greek translated ‘be ye followers of me’.
   
We should mimic the apostle. He effectively tells us that God has appointed him to lay down a pattern, so that all his recorded acts would provide the model for church life and activity throughout the ages.
   We note that Paul does not say this in just one passage, but in four. There is very definitely a norm or standard for the church in the Bible, and we must humbly seek it out and apply it.

The Pattern for the Church

From The Sword & Trowel 2013   

This article about the sufficiency of Scripture presents Bible texts showing that the apostles established a pattern, standard or model for the church of all ages.

When we speak of the sufficiency of Scripture, we mean that the Word of God provides all that we need to know in order to be saved, to be sanctified, to worship, and to organise and operate the church of God (2 Timothy 3.16-17).
   Historically, Baptists, Independents, and Brethren have been notably keen to take account of the last part of this definition, believing that there is a ‘pattern’ church in the New Testament, the apostles having consciously left an authoritative blueprint for churches to the end of the age.
   It is true that the pattern church of the New Testament has never been popular with denominations that reflect the very earliest stage of the Reformation, such as Lutherans and Anglicans, who inherit their clerical and liturgical systems (cleaned up doctrinally) from the Church of Rome. They took the view that Christians may devise for themselves church organisation, methods and manner of worship, limiting the sufficiency of Scripture to salvation and sanctification. (Evangelical Anglicans still hold this limited view.)
   Most evangelicals, however, until recently, believed they should seek to identify and follow the New ­Testament prescription for the church. But times change, and now we hear the voices of those who know better than the Lord, and who abandon the sufficiency  of Scripture and its authority on church matters.
   They tell us we should be ‘doing church’ (their term) differently, and reorganising everything to suit the culture of the world. The wheel of the church is to be re-invented. Congregations will never look the same. There is, they insist, no pattern church set out in the Bible.
   The Saviour said, ‘The scripture cannot be broken,’ but today’s ‘reformers’ think the traditional church found in the New Testament is out-of-date and unsuitable for the present age. They favour innovations that bring the world into the church in many ways.

"Long-term Resentment in the Young"

From The Sword & Trowel 2013    

As Christian parents, how are we training our children for adult life? Parenthood is a tremendous responsibility, and we should be glad for every word we have in the Bible showing how we should go about it.

Paul’s Teaching on Child Training

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6.4).
It hardly needs to be said that ­­­­parenthood is a tremendous responsibility, and we are glad of every word we have in the Bible showing how we should go about it.
   In Ephesians 6.4 Paul gives direction to fathers. Mothers seem to be out of the picture, but obviously this cannot possibly be the case. Everything that is said here about fathers must apply also to mothers. However, the apostle avoids using the Greek word for ‘parents’, but puts the chief responsibility (and accountability to God) on ­fathers.
   He begins by challenging fathers to think about how they may provoke their children to anger. This refers not only to immediate ­anger, but also to exasperation and resentment which may not emerge for several years. How, exactly, may we stir up anger and frustration in our children?
   No parent should feel condemned by the answers given here, because every one of us has failed in so many ways. The purpose of this article is to help, not to hurt.
   This caution not to provoke our children to exasperation, applies to children and young people of all ages. Do not frustrate and embitter them, says Paul. So important is this that he mentions it before giving any positive exhortation.
   Clearly, bitterness can be provoked by ill-tempered and violent behaviour, but that is not the whole story. There are other mistakes of parenting that produce the same painful reaction in children.
   Here, then, are seven ways in which we may anger and exasperate young people, both short-term and long-term.

1. Indifference

Firstly, and most obviously, we may give long-term bitterness and frustration to children by being indifferent to them and their concerns. This is very easily done these days. We live, after all, in the most complicated days which have ever occurred in the history of the world.
   We are burdened by numerous responsibilities, and a vast amount of information constantly bombards us in this media age. It is all too easy for parents to find the needs of children tiresome and trivial. We may tend to sometimes ignore them or forget about them. Or we may leave all the close involvement to the other parent. We may take little interest in their developing views and distinctive interests, scarcely even noticing that one child is different from another. We may also become indifferent to our children’s need of companionship.
   The time may come, as children get older, that they reject parental authority. But the reality may be that respect and authority was forfeited long before, through parental indifference.
   When children reach mid or late teenage, parents want to protect them from the moral snares of society, and difficult conflicts sometimes arise. How much easier it is if their affection and respect for parents is intact.

2. Over-direction

 A second action likely to provoke exasperation in children needs to be considered alongside the previous point. Parents may take too much interest, in the sense that they over-channel their children in their ­decisions. They over-direct them. Parents decide entirely by themselves that the child is going to go to a particular kind of school, or will engage in particular sports, or will take up particular subjects. Parents push the child all the way, so that independent judgement or taste is crushed.
      This may occur due to pride on the parents’ part. The child must do this or that, because these things are what parents will be proud of when the child gets to late teenage, and on into adult life. The child’s course of life is predetermined. Compulsory direction which takes no account of the child’s tastes and inclinations (however gently carried out), may possibly embitter a child in the long term.
       Over-protectiveness may equally frustrate a child. There are so many things that rightly concern parents, and from which children have to be protected. But we have to be careful not to overdo this protection, so that growing children are denied virtually anything which may appeal to them. Children are not blind. They see what other children are free to do. Unreasonable protectiveness may produce bitterness.
           This is not a matter of skipping discipline. Parents who let their young children get away with rudeness and bad behaviour store up trouble for the future. To introduce reproof at sixteen is to court resentment, contempt and rebellion.

3. Too much criticism

Thirdly, children may become deeply angry if they are over-criticised and discouraged. Their minds and abilities are developing. They constantly do foolish things, measured by adult standards. Their ideas are frequently immature, and their method of carrying out projects sometimes bizarre. But they are children, and parents must ration their criticisms in the light of this. Children can only take so much criticism before being undermined and frustrated.

If children are younger, we should not behave as though we are counselling older teenagers

It is easy to discourage the young by crushing their dreams and aspirations. Children have all kinds of schemes and opinions, and these may change every couple of years, or even every couple of months. We cannot keep pouring cold water on them. If their dreams are not intrinsically bad, let them dream (particularly in the case of younger children). They are not committing themselves to a lifelong course of action. If children are younger, we should not behave as though we were counselling older teenagers. What does it matter if a child’s heart is set on being a train driver or an astronaut?
   When older teenagers form totally unattainable or inappropriate dreams, it may be necessary to find amicable ways of talking them round. Even here, care and respect is called for. But the intellectual activity of a child, if morally wholesome, should not be crushed.

4. Failure to adjust to growing up

Fourthly (and building on the preceding point), exasperation may be produced in children by the failure of parents to adjust to their growing up. We are all slow to make this adjustment. Little by little, children become adults. And little by little, responsibility for their lives must be yielded to them, even if it means they make mistakes. If we find we are treating a child virtually the same way at 15 as at 10, we may be courting deep-seated rebellion in the future.

5. Ill-temper

   Fifthly, everyone agrees we provoke our children to anger by hostility, ill-temper, and far-too-­severe punishments. If tired and tense, parents may react to misbehaviour in an unjustifiable way. Despite fondness for their children, they may give way to bad temper, punishing children out of frustration, rather than in a proper spirit of correction. The scale of the punishment will be according to the parent’s emotional state.           Deep frustration may not be immediately apparent, because children seem to bounce back and get over their trials. But within them, a kind of debt may build up, and the time may come when they resent all unreasonable treatment. Then parental authority will be discredited and undermined.
         What we do to a child may not come home to roost until the child is a teenager. We must take care that hostility and over-punishing does not provoke to wrath.

6. Unfairness

Sixthly, unfairness embitters and frustrates children, especially over time. The previous point covered unfairness in the scale of punishments. Unfairness may also arise in the assigning of blame between children. To decide a ‘case’ often requires the wisdom of Solomon. But if there is freq­­uent unfairness, parental authority may be shattered. Exasperation may also build up in children if the reason for discipline is not apparent, or is not explained. Does it come like a bolt from the blue? A child may ask, ‘What was wrong with that?’ or, ‘Why can’t I do that?’
   The unfairness of favouritism may be another failing. If one child regularly gets more than another, a parent may not be conscious it is happening, but the child who goes short most certainly is. If one child is punished more than another for the same offence, or one is encouraged more than another for the same achievement, parental guidance and authority could be at risk. If there is any unfairness in the giving of warmth or approval, trouble may lie ahead.

7. Lack of example

A seventh way of exasperating children is the failure of parental example. It is obvious that if parents do things themselves for which they punish or reprove their children, resentment and confusion may result. Beside this, children very often acquire the behaviour of the parents.  

By their own conduct these parents produced instant exasperation in their children, and forfeited authority

Many years ago a husband and wife came to see if they could be helped to master a serious problem. They said, ‘We cannot stop arguing.’ The evidence was soon seen, because even as they described the problem, the sparks began to fly. Immediately after discussing this, they raised a second problem. Their children were very volatile, and violent to each other. They could not be pacified. Why were their children so bad?
   The answer was that they had learned their behaviour from their parents. By their own conduct these parents produced instant exasperation in their children, and forfeited authority. They were not credible people in the eyes of their youngsters.
   To sum up, seven potential danger points for either short- or long-term ‘wrath’ are the following:
1. Indifference
2. Over-direction or over-protectiveness
3. Over-criticism
4. Parental failure to adjust to growing up
5. Hostility or ill-temper
6. Unfairness or favouritism
7. Bad parental example

‘Bring them up’

   Moving on to the positive side of child rearing, the apostle says – ‘but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord’. Bring them up has been rendered – ‘rear them with tenderness’. Before we consider how we rear them, we must appreciate the concept of tenderly, thoughtfully rearing children, and see it as our commission and responsibility.
   The key question is – What are we bringing them up for? What is our aim? It may sound a trite question, but it is not always correctly answered. We are bringing up our children for life, not for childhood.        Some parents say, ‘I want to enjoy my children, and enjoy watching them grow up.’ We do not fault that attitude. A home with children is a wonderful blessing. But at the same time we should never forget that we are rearing children not only to be happy as children, but for their future lives. We ask, ‘How am I training my children to prepare them for adult life? How do I prepare them for the kind of world which they must soon face?’ The following suggestions say nothing about instructing children spiritually, as it is assumed readers need no persuading about that.

‘in the nurture’

   We are to rear children in the nurture of the Lord. Nurture means training. If only we knew how to produce in children diligence, so that they may one day bring great glory to God in their work and witness! If only we could impart initiative! How wonderful it is to have people who can respond to circumstances and carry on initiatives, both in their personal lives and in the service of the Lord. How glorious it is to have people in the church who have inner energy and tenacity! Is there anything we can do to promote these virtues in our children? These are the kind of concerns that we should have.    If only we could discover how to bring about a sense of duty in our children, and how to make them considerate and polite! If we had the secrets, the answers to these questions, we would be happy parents. We may take heart, because the Scripture gives us answers to those questions. We can help our children to be all these things as we prepare them mentally, spiritually, morally and socially for the journey of life.
   Nurture includes chastening, but it is broader in scope. The difference between nurture and admonition has been explained in this way: Nurture is what you do to the child, while admonition is what you say to the child.

Spoiling is one of the worst disasters of all, because scars often remain even after conversion

What we do to a child encompasses all the restraints and constraints that we put the child under. Nurture means that we design activities, circumstances, rules, duties and rewards in the life of the child. It is the opposite of spoiling. If we spoil a child, it is because there are no rules and restraints. (Spoiling is one of the worst disasters of all, because scars often remain even after conversion, and have to be eradicated over time by the process of sanctification.)
   Nurture is more positive than negative. We want to train children socially. We long that they should know how to relate to other people, whether in the family, the church, the school, or the place of business or study. We want to bring out, where appropriate, the shy child. Equally, we want the more extroverted child to know how to control and contain himself, and to have consideration for others. We want our children to be observant, and sensitive to needs. These are aims to keep in view as we develop our approach to them.
       By nurture, children are given a scale of reference; a framework by which to judge, assess and think. They come to know that they may do one thing and not another, for clear reasons. They will spend their future lives under the discipline of both divine and human providences and ‘systems’. They will sometimes have ambitions which cannot be attained. The ‘system’ may bar the way for them. It will not allow them to do what they want.
       This will be intensely frustrating unless children have been reared to understand and endure limiting influences. Human beings cannot do everything they want to do, when and where they want to do it. Nurture enables them to come to terms with limitations.    To have a system around them teaches them values. It develops a capacity to come to terms with things they don’t like, and exercise self-control with things they do. It helps them to control their appetites. All this is very positive and strengthening.
   Many of the troubles of moodiness and disillusionment afflicting young people (along with self-indulgence and self-centredness) are due to the fact that nurture has been regarded by modern society as repressive. They have grown up without goals or restrictions.
    A simple example of restraint in the home is that of ‘no-go’ areas. In every household, from a child’s earliest years, there should be some prohibited places, especially certain drawers and cupboards relating to their parents. This is most helpful to children. It teaches respect and restraint.       On the other hand, parents may say, ‘Oh, there is nowhere where my children cannot trample freely. They may scramble over my bed at five o’clock in the morning. They may open any drawer and sift through anything. Nothing is private; nothing is sacred; nothing is special.’ But such a liberal attitude denies a child vital strengths of self-control. Who knows whether a young adult’s gross act of adultery may not have been encouraged by the lack of prohibited areas in his life! Prohibitions in childhood may have developed emotional muscles of respect and self-control.      This applies in church also. It is not a good idea for young children to be running here and there, in and out, say, of the minister’s or the deacons’ rooms, and respecting no part of the building. If no place is out of bounds, and if nothing is to be regarded as special or sacred, how will a child ever learn that he is a small unit in society, and bound to respect its rules and systems? How will he be helped to respect the Word of God and the church which is the pillar and ground of the Truth? There must be places that are out of bounds.
       Another amazingly underestimated nurturing tool is that of table manners. Someone once said to this writer, ‘What is the point of middle-class table manners? Why do some people take them so seriously?’
       Table manners are hardly middle-class. Every so-called ‘class’ has, in the past, had its distinctive approach to table manners. They could well have been devised in Heaven for the benefit of children being nurtured in this fallen world. Table manners inculcate control over appetites, and the value of restraint. They also teach sensitivity to and consideration for others, who must be passed the plate first.
       Table manners communicate the practice of noticing the needs of others, and habits of helpfulness and hospitality. They teach that appearances are important, because to behave like hogs is offensive to others. Children learn to bear in mind how they come across, and how they appear from the other’s point of view. All these things are easily learned at the table.
         Overall, manners provide a remarkable means of imparting to children some of the virtues referred to at the beginning of this article.
          Chores and duties are another important tool of nurture. We should assign reasonable and achievable duties to children from their earliest years. If we leave it until a child is ten, we may face difficulties. If the child has never lent a helping hand before this, nor had a regular duty or responsibility, there may obviously be great reluctance to cooperate.
         Personal organisation and tidiness on the part of the child should always be well rewarded.

‘and admonition...’

We have observed that nurture is the framework of training actions applied to children, whereas admonition is what is said to the child. Admonition, therefore, is not training by actions and rules, but by words. In short, we are training them mentally. By words we straighten out and forge the thinking of children, helping them to appreciate principles and higher values, and the right way of looking at issues.
   We are developing, stretching and fashioning their minds. That is why parents need to be helpful to children in what they read, and the kind of conversation they promote. To be a parent we need, ideally, an ever-expanding general knowledge to keep ahead of our children. We are feeding their minds. We are informing them.
   We must be alive to many things that are of interest to children. If we do not know about such things, we shall have to learn about them. It may be that a parent is an academic whose entire education has been in the world of literature and classics, yet whose children are interested in science and machines. Such a parent will need to find out about some of these things.
   If we want to impart to a child some worthwhile information, but the child won’t receive it and has another idea, we should not steamroller the child down. It is sometimes a very good thing for the child to win the encounter (and even an argument). Another day will come. We have not lost the campaign. Another opportunity will come when the child may be more interested.

Parental ­authority

Parental authority is a vital and precious commodity, but authority must be earned. Some may think it is unbiblical to say this. We do, after all, have a biblical ‘office’ as parents, by which we possess the right to train and correct our children. But if our parental authority is to be well received, then we have to see it as something to be earned and deserved.

Authority must have a friendly face... If we forfeit friendship with our children, we forfeit authority

To be respected, authority must have a helping face. Equally, authority must have a friendly face. Authority must have a rewarding hand. Authority needs all these things. If we forfeit friendship with our children, we ­forfeit authority. If we forfeit reasonableness, we forfeit authority. If we forfeit integrity, we forfeit authority. How disastrous it is when a parent is grossly inconsistent, and not even honest.
    Authority needs integrity. Even in matters of general knowledge, if we hold forth on a subject that we don’t know much about, we are ultimately risking authority. A child quickly attains teenage, and may know more about the matter than we do. We must be careful not to expound things we know nothing about. It is no bad thing that children should know that we get some things wrong. But for children to see us authoritatively asserting something foolish leads to forfeiture of integrity and respect.
    Parental authority must be blended with a measure of liberty. Even adult Christians have to be given time and opportunity to struggle forward little-by-little in the walk of sanctification. Occasionally someone will rush up and say, ‘Something must be done about that person!’ Often, it is not a serious moral matter, but one to be handled in a context of respect.
      We all must be allowed a certain amount of liberty to slip and slide; to go wrong; to offend, but then to put ourselves right before the Lord. We do not expect people to correct their faults successfully the very next day. They need time to get on top of things, and so do children.
        Therefore, if we have to reprove or redirect a child, we should not necessarily impose intense parental scrutiny to see if the matter has been immediately put right (although this may be appropriate for a very serious offence).
         Children are normally entitled to a degree of leeway even to do the wrong thing, and to take time in getting it right. We look for progress, not for instant success. Patience is a pillar of parental authority. Children must develop their own readiness and capacity to recognise wrongs, and to put them right. It would be no use if when launched on the ocean of adult life they were still dependent upon constant intervention from their parents.

Service for the Lord

   There is sometimes debate among Christians about whether parents should participate to any extent in church activities. It is often said that a parent’s service for God is to take care of the family, but this is a great mistake. We are always under the command of the great commission to engage in evangelistic efforts, though not, of course, to the exclusion of the care of children. There is a balance to be maintained.    However, it is worth saying that whenever parents (with proper balance) are active and committed in fields of Christian service, their children benefit. Far from being deprived of attention, they see their parents diligent about the work of the Lord. They see them loyal to something above them. They grow up knowing that the family has a noble cause to which it is committed. It is a magnificent lesson for children to see that their parents are under the authority of God, and that they love him and serve him. A parent’s Christian service is a crowning witness to a child. There is no greater authentication than this.